This is my big excuse. I like hard. Hard makes it special. I can kick Hard to the curb. But I am always scared. Scared of succeeding. Scared of failing. Scared or changing. Scared of not accomplishing anything. It's the kryptonite to my superman.
First, being scared goes away a little bit with each success and each failure. Just by trying something you become a little less scared. That's the main reason why I have been putting myself out there for critisism and compliments. I have been joining forums left and right to promote this blog and to hold myself accountable. Each time I allow myself to be vunerable, I realize that vunerability is not so bad and I become a little bit more confident. This allows me to take bigger risks daily. With this confidence I have even been able to open up to my wife about "my silly little dreams" lately. It truely feels good and our relationship is stronger.
The second thing that is helping me overcome my fears is my daughter. I have to be a rock for her. She is completely dependant on me and my wife. I have no time be afraid. I must be strong for her. Additionally, my daughter has forced me to confront my mortality. Life is precious. Time is fleeting. We only get one shot here on this planet. The only time to do it is now.
I am working on this excuse. It will take time. I can't promise I won't use it as an excuse, but I am aware of it now.
-P
Challenge day 09/30
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